I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
