I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
What a dumb baby whore.
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I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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