I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
