Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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