New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
