Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
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I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
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The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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