Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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