I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
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Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.