He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
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Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
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You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.