thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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