Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.

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  (508): i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer. http://tfl.nu/bdc9
  Replies (37) Good night (2321) Bad night (954)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed

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  (402): her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed http://tfl.nu/3qmq
  Replies (5) Good night (5752) Bad night (679)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.

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  (802): Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water. http://tfl.nu/oebe
  Replies (29) Good night (1592) Bad night (7118)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  What happened to him?

  (1-501): View more from Arkansas

  He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum

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  (501): What happened to him? (1-501): He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum http://tfl.nu/owcl
  Replies (4) Good night (4108) Bad night (754)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.

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  (952): I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was. http://tfl.nu/9bfo
  Replies (6) Good night (2622) Bad night (1527)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.

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  (972): I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night. http://tfl.nu/hauh
  Replies (8) Good night (2346) Bad night (848)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.

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  (828): Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times. http://tfl.nu/we9q
  Replies (12) Good night (3001) Bad night (760)
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  (424): View more from California

  Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?

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  (424): Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo? http://tfl.nu/93zn
  Replies (24) Good night (1277) Bad night (586)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.

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  (907): When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on. http://tfl.nu/9zlu
  Replies (1) Good night (783) Bad night (356)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys

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  (774): There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys http://tfl.nu/n2sm
  Replies (7) Good night (960) Bad night (414)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  You have a very discerning palate.

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  (410): It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze. (301): You have a very discerning palate. http://tfl.nu/r2sj
  Replies (11) Good night (917) Bad night (939)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.

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  (417): I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow. http://tfl.nu/poey
  Replies (0) Good night (587) Bad night (426)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.

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  (305): I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon. http://tfl.nu/f8kn
  Replies (1) Good night (1028) Bad night (436)
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  (310): View more from California

  I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks

  (310): View more from California

  Like what do you want from me

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  (310): I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks (310): Like what do you want from me http://tfl.nu/m7w4
  Replies (4) Good night (636) Bad night (328)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?

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  (440): i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was? http://tfl.nu/87x6
  Replies (2) Good night (675) Bad night (205)

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