Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson