Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
