so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
