I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
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