Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
