im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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