Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
