I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back