Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
