i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
