So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
