Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
