Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
