I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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