i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
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the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
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So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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