Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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