I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My vagina just recognized that song.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize