Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i used baking grease as lip gloss
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
