not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
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Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
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I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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