dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
