Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.