Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.

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  (770): Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable. http://tfl.nu/w2xg
  Replies (16) Good night (2551) Bad night (1188) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.

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  (512): New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville. http://tfl.nu/rzyg
  Replies (46) Good night (1120) Bad night (3929) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually

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  (501): My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually http://tfl.nu/zmvh
  Replies (19) Good night (7904) Bad night (599) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?

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  (203): I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night? http://tfl.nu/u6ad
  Replies (6) Good night (5131) Bad night (1185)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.

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  (810): I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years. http://tfl.nu/10l8
  Replies (10) Good night (2192) Bad night (855) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.

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  (610): Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it. http://tfl.nu/l5ke
  Replies (29) Good night (8836) Bad night (1787) Order T-Shirt
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.

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  (571): found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game. http://tfl.nu/h3cm
  Replies (21) Good night (5515) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka

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  (630): you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka http://tfl.nu/av0z
  Replies (8) Good night (1359) Bad night (2120) Order T-Shirt
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.

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  (623): Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds. http://tfl.nu/ovdt
  Replies (9) Good night (845) Bad night (3903) Order T-Shirt
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.

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  (808): Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful. http://tfl.nu/6ueo
  Replies (10) Good night (2305) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.

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  (850): You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets. http://tfl.nu/bxsc
  Replies (6) Good night (960) Bad night (364) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow

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  (914): just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow http://tfl.nu/fqfl
  Replies (6) Good night (1225) Bad night (355) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".

  (801): View more from Utah

  Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.

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  (801): My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt". (801): Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment. http://tfl.nu/n7lf
  Replies (1) Good night (476) Bad night (225)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.

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  (513): Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth. http://tfl.nu/s6hy
  Replies (5) Good night (1480) Bad night (179) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go

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  (919): I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go http://tfl.nu/j7ma
  Replies (4) Good night (404) Bad night (114) Order T-Shirt

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