There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?