If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
