do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think a kid would responsible me up
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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