yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize