the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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