this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pee on everything he values.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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