Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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