I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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