You're completely useless in the revolution.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
