i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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