He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara