Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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