im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize