My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
