Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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