Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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