He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
