just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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