i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
