I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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