I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
