hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
