I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.