How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
