Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  I pooped in a mop bucket.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  WTF???

  (512): View more from Texas

  Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that

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  (512): I pooped in a mop bucket. (1-512): WTF??? (512): Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that http://tfl.nu/ww1k
  Replies (12) Good night (1171) Bad night (670)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?

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  (813): I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins? http://tfl.nu/vjtk
  Replies (11) Good night (717) Bad night (2680)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest

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  (937): the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest http://tfl.nu/2mrs
  Replies (37) Good night (5400) Bad night (1061)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.

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  (913): Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in. http://tfl.nu/xn3x
  Replies (16) Good night (924) Bad night (3279)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face

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  (218): I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face http://tfl.nu/wyrl
  Replies (6) Good night (5157) Bad night (890)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.

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  (913): It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide. http://tfl.nu/jrdr
  Replies (7) Good night (3784) Bad night (962)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy

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  (973): Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy http://tfl.nu/3461
  Replies (5) Good night (2784) Bad night (1029)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.

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  (613): Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here. http://tfl.nu/o8um
  Replies (8) Good night (4031) Bad night (769)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.

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  (402): Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god. http://tfl.nu/igq7
  Replies (12) Good night (3267) Bad night (1006)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.

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  (608): We should search craigslist for porches to sublet. http://tfl.nu/mpxg
  Replies (2) Good night (1763) Bad night (771)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!

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  (570): ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin! http://tfl.nu/i1tl
  Replies (18) Good night (1589) Bad night (2259)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?

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  (956): Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone? http://tfl.nu/ptfa
  Replies (7) Good night (1145) Bad night (546)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..

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  (770): I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair.. http://tfl.nu/10ie
  Replies (6) Good night (668) Bad night (395)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter

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  (402): Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter http://tfl.nu/7i88
  Replies (1) Good night (668) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.

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  (732): Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole. http://tfl.nu/eueb
  Replies (6) Good night (480) Bad night (316)

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