Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  I regularly think about how cool your nickname is

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  (818): I regularly think about how cool your nickname is http://tfl.nu/glb5
  Replies (3) Good night (2115) Bad night (1206)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.

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  (281): Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table. http://tfl.nu/g0qe
  Replies (10) Good night (3650) Bad night (640)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.

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  (636): Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often. http://tfl.nu/ixlv
  Replies (15) Good night (4591) Bad night (690)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.

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  (631): i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee. http://tfl.nu/3r9a
  Replies (16) Good night (4989) Bad night (712)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them

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  (201): My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them http://tfl.nu/2uni
  Replies (41) Good night (14871) Bad night (1194)
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  (876): View more from Jamaica

  After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone

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  (876): After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone http://tfl.nu/ammv
  Replies (32) Good night (8471) Bad night (1260)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh

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  (248): I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh http://tfl.nu/l3fg
  Replies (10) Good night (1253) Bad night (3517)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.

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  (360): And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that. http://tfl.nu/r3iu
  Replies (6) Good night (2736) Bad night (878)
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  (530): View more from California

  and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.

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  (530): and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters. http://tfl.nu/hxhg
  Replies (5) Good night (2989) Bad night (877)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.

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  (480): I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it. http://tfl.nu/wwgo
  Replies (5) Good night (1182) Bad night (680)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.

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  (901): I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort. http://tfl.nu/rrlp
  Replies (5) Good night (529) Bad night (1124)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.

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  (618): I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away. http://tfl.nu/0di0
  Replies (9) Good night (858) Bad night (656)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.

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  (801): You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good. http://tfl.nu/w4bo
  Replies (4) Good night (1602) Bad night (395)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party

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  (802): We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party http://tfl.nu/otax
  Replies (1) Good night (855) Bad night (300)
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  (+81): View more from

  And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.

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  (+81): And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other. http://tfl.nu/jk8n
  Replies (1) Good night (520) Bad night (269)

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