I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
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yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
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Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE