Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby

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  (631): there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby http://tfl.nu/vnsn
  Replies (13) Good night (931) Bad night (2312)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.

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  (519): turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm. http://tfl.nu/078y
  Replies (22) Good night (1570) Bad night (3178)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?

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  (315): I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic? http://tfl.nu/satp
  Replies (23) Good night (4367) Bad night (1254)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.

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  (918): Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help. http://tfl.nu/4c79
  Replies (8) Good night (1268) Bad night (3054)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.

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  (260): Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide. http://tfl.nu/8iit
  Replies (4) Good night (728) Bad night (1973)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60

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  (618): I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60 http://tfl.nu/6i7r
  Replies (10) Good night (1480) Bad night (1132)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks

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  (253): I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks http://tfl.nu/tvej
  Replies (11) Good night (1206) Bad night (705)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.

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  (506): Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/xgvx
  Replies (8) Good night (751) Bad night (1333)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"

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  (513): hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment" http://tfl.nu/qbsp
  Replies (9) Good night (2043) Bad night (836)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success

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  (505): Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success http://tfl.nu/y0qf
  Replies (0) Good night (1192) Bad night (394)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.

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  (306): Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face. http://tfl.nu/y8xh
  Replies (22) Good night (735) Bad night (1512)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night

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  (508): I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night http://tfl.nu/3slk
  Replies (2) Good night (504) Bad night (374)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We can get drunk and battle coyotes

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  (203): We can get drunk and battle coyotes http://tfl.nu/riqx
  Replies (2) Good night (363) Bad night (255)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here

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  (308): No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here http://tfl.nu/jrmv
  Replies (1) Good night (316) Bad night (158)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  "my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"

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  (604): "my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really" http://tfl.nu/pubh
  Replies (1) Good night (270) Bad night (132)

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