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He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
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