she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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