no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
