i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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