So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
