we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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