I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
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He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
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Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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