it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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